Thursday, 27 July 2017


Any time when I look at my shadow,
I usually see the image of the late
Odwor pointing a finger at me.
I feel like he knows I'm the one
who poisoned his meal.

Yesterday when I made love to
Odwor's wife,
he appeared in her eyes with foam
on the sharp ends of his mouth.
in my efforts to ran for my life
through the window,
I forgot all my clothes in the house
of the beautiful widow.....!

Any time when I look at myself in
the mirror,
mbu!!!
I usually see Odwor's reflection.
With tears in his eyes and huge 
cotton wools tucked in his nose.
It's as if he has a clue that his wife is
now my rose.

As a result,
when I kiss Odwor's wife in my
world of imagination,
Odwor usually appears just to disable
my erection.
He always follows me...
Ever since I ever since I smeared
poison in his meal.


Sunday, 23 July 2017


Look at what fashion has done to my
son...
He has coated his teeth with an iron
sheet that sparkles.
When he walks,
he limps as if he has bad scars in
one of his ankles.

look at what fashion has done to my 
son...
He wears trousers that uncover the
cleavage of his bushy behind. 
The rings that dangle on the tip of
his tongue resemble those of a
typical international thug.

Look at what fashion has done to my 
son...
He walks with women who look like
fierce phantoms.
They have bleached faces, blue
lipsticks, black knuckles, and brown wigs.
Besides, they eat with the greed of
hungry pigs

Look at what fashion has done to my 
son...
He has drilled another hole on his nose
and fried his hair in the salon.
When I pray and tell him to repent,
He laughs and says "this is the new trend"

Look at what fashion has done to my 
son...

Saturday, 22 July 2017


Oluoch,
I beg you to please marry me.
I beg you to please take this ring and
put it on my finger.
Don't worry about the price of my
wedding gown....
I will buy it.

Oluoch,
I know I have wrinkles and I'm old.
But just marry me I beg.
My heart is as pure as gold.
Don't worry about the expenses of
our honeymoon...
I will cater for them.

Oluoch,
Look at my friends!
They all have husband's and
children.
I am not asking for much.
I want us to do our wedding in any
available church.

Oluoch,
Don't even worry about where we will
live.
I have built a mansion in the leafy suburbs of the city.
If you reject my proposal, 
I'll wallow in pity.
Please say you'll marry me.

Oluoch,
Twenty years ago when I spat a thick saliva on your ugly face,
Just because you gazed at my beautiful dress,
I was foolish.
I am now down on bended knees....
I beg you to please marry me.

Oluoch, 
Before my breasts flatten...
Before the lightening of menopause
strikes, 
I beg you to marry me. 
Don't worry about where the cake will
come from. 
I am ready to bake it myself!


Sunday, 16 July 2017



Dear medicine man,
I need your help.
My husband always comes home in
the middle of the night.
He always ignores meals that I took
hours to prepare...
When I ask him where he was,
He usually looks at me with eyes
that want to start a silly war.
I suspect that my husband is
cheating on me with a silly whore.

Dear medicine man!
Anytime when I'm not near,
And my husband attempts to cheat on me,
I want you to totally make his
manhood disappear.
If the tongue of a snail and the penis
of an ant is what you want,
I will bring them.

Dear medicine man,
I want you to make my husband pay
for the remaining part of my dowry.
And if possible,
I want you to shrink the breasts and
buttocks of any woman who will
attempt to spend my husband's salary.
If you want me to make love to a dead man,
Or bring you my husband's
underwears.... I will do it.

Dear medicine man.
I have spent days and nights chewing lemons and smearing avocados 
on my face just to look young 
for my husband.
I want you to make him eat my food
and wipe my plate with his tongue.
If kissing a mad man or bringing you
the teeth of a house fly is what it will
take.... So be it.

Thursday, 13 July 2017


Daudi my husband,
Is it true that when you died -
you left five pregnant women behind?
Please wake up from your grave and
see for yourself....

Two of them are here!
The first one has removed all her clothes.
She says that you promised to buy
her a big plot abroad.
She has reduced our home into a
village circus.
Everyone is laughing at her hairy anus.

The second one has climbed on the
apex of our avocado tree.
If she won't get part of your wealth,
She has threatened to kill herself...
Wake up from your grave and see for
Yourself my darling.
News has it that the other three
women are coming.

Daudi my husband,
I am waiting for the other three
women to arrive.
If they'll insist that you impregnated them
While you were alive,
I will assemble them at the navel of our plot.
I'll then show them the doctor's report
that says you were impotent.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...
Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...