Saturday, 25 August 2018

When people told Oluoch that
I slept with our church pastor
On our matrimonial bed,
I knew that Oluoch would ignore them...
Ever since I started pouring droplets
Of my urine in Oluoch's meal,
Oluoch only loves and listens to me.

When the doctor's report said that the DNA
Of our last born does not match that of
My lovely Oluoch, I did not panic...
After all, Oluoch believed it's a gimmick.
Ever since I sandwiched Oluoch's bread
With particles of poo that hung on the walls
Of my giant anus,
I knew that nothing else would ever come
In between us.

When Oluoch was told by his mom that
I bewitched him,
He took a kettle of hot water and splashed it
On her ugly looking face.
He then went ahead and chased her
Out of our peaceful palatial place.
Ever since I inserted my pubic hair
In Oluoch's porridge,
He worships me in the morning -
and at night before he sleeps.

Sunday, 12 August 2018

They throw gloomy glances at me,
Their spangling blue eyes slowly spiral
In their sockets,
They twitch their pink lips as they
Spit a dough of a saliva on their
First-class milky sands.

They ask me "who are you?
Where do you come from?
Why are you here?
Do y'all live with monkeys?
Do y'all have AIDS?
Do y'all live in grass thatched huts?
Does it rain o'er there? Are there roads?
Water? Airports? Pizza inn's? McDonald's?
Huh....!" They sigh,

And they whisper to their kids,
And their kids wail in fear,
And their policemen surround my path,
And they strangle my neck,
And break my arms,
And step on my head and accuse
My skin of causing unrest to their citizens.

And the thirst to go back home throttles
My throat,
The hunger to smile again boils in my belly,
The dreams of golden opportunities
Fade away from my fantasies...
As milk and Honey turn into a paranoia
Of my own mind.

Thursday, 9 August 2018

Dear rain,
What have you done to me?
As soon as I lifted my jembe to plough
My farm - you poured.
You did not even darken the clouds
In the sky as a usual.
You did not send birds back to their nests
As a sign...
Now look!!
I've been forced to prematurely withdraw
From this fertile farm of mine.

Dear rain,
You have turned me into a
Five second farmer.
Last time when I lifted my jembe up,
You trickled before my jembe could
Strike the soft looking soil.
You then sent your wonky winds
To shiver my head, shoulders, knees
And toes.
Dear rain, your coming when I'm farming
Fills me with so much woes.

Dear rain,
Has it ever occurred to you that
When you pour,
My energy for farming lowers?
It's as a result of your coming that
I've now begun to wither.
Look at my shrinking shoulders...
They are shaking like a loose leaf
In winter.
Dear rain,
I beg you to let the Sun shimmer.
For it's only then, that I'll plough
My farm better.

Thursday, 26 April 2018

Ogenga wants me to die
a malnourished man.
He wants me to walk
With torn shoes while he covers
His sagging fleshy belly in
Imported Italian suits.

When I told Ogenga to pay my debt
Ogenga told me that his new iPhone
Has fallen in a swimming pool.
He said that he has used a lot of money
To repair it's cracked guerrilla screen.
Ogenga then left before I could tell him
That I need money to pay my rent
And clear my sick sister's
Medical bill.

Ogenga wants me to die a troubled man.
Last night after my landlord
Locked my house and
Chased me out of his compound,
Ogenga's new car from Japan
Splashed stagnant water
On my face as it sped off towards
The direction of a pub.

When I followed Ogenga to the pub,
I saw him slapping the behind
Of a barmaid with piles of notes.....
When I approached Ogenga and asked
Whether he is in a position
To settle my debt,
Ogenga turned his big head the other way
And said he does not have any penny
left in his poor wallet.
That the little money he had,
He has used it to repair
the slightly scratched bonnet
Of his three day old car from Japan.

The selfish Ogenga is waiting for me
To die so that he can live in peace.

Sunday, 15 April 2018

When I arrived home
In the middle of the night,
Cheptoo scorned at me
With an ear piercing voice.
She said that our children
Are not even mine.
She woke up our neighbors
And told them that harlots
Are spending my money.
In fact,
She pointed at my penis
And compared it to a bee hive
that has no honey.

When I arrived home
In the middle of the night,
Cheptoo declared that
She's moving in with another man.
Even before I opened my arms to give her
A warm embrace,
She angrily removed her underwear
And threw it in the middle
Of my astonished face.

When I told Cheptoo that I had just
Won a million dollar jackpot,
She quickly grabbed the underwear
That she had thrown in the middle
Of my astonished faced and wore it.
She then picked a bible and swore that
When she said that I'm not the father
Of our six kids,
She was just kidding.
In fact,
She left me standing at the doorstep
And rushed to the bedroom to prepare
My favourite meal.

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